There are so many different types of therapy, it can be overwhelming when you’re starting out. While there are definitely things to consider when choosing a therapist, identifying when a method of therapy isn’t working is a powerful way to make progress on your mental health journey.
What does it look like when therapy isn’t working for you? It is important to remember that your ‘aim’ in therapy can be a moving goal post. For example, you might start therapy to manage your depression but after dealing with the immediate symptoms you and your therapist might begin focusing on your childhood experiences that are informing your current behaviour. This is normal!
But you shouldn’t be leaving your sessions feeling frustrated. While a therapy ‘hangover’ is expected, you should feel at least slight relief at being heard and supported through a session. It can be helpful to journal or just jot down how you feel after a session to keep track of your progress and new coping tools you’ve learnt.
Another sign your current therapy isn’t working for you is when you know in your gut that the suggestions or connections made by your therapist aren’t for you. Maybe they suggest taking a certain action or exposure therapy that still feels too soon; or, perhaps your therapist keeps forgetting a key aspect of your story and you feel like you are the one having to connect the dots.
Being open and honest during conversations with your therapist on how you feel—especially your frustrations!— is a key part of the process. They are there to support you and together you can find a way forward. Sometimes you’ll need to be reminded of the progress you have made and other time it could lead to a new therapy approach. For example, switching from Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) to Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). Change can bring up feelings of apprehension, especially when you’re being asked to be vulnerable with a new therapist, but it can make such a difference!
The great thing to remember, if this sounds overwhelming, is that there is always hope. If your personal goals can change, so can the therapeutic approach! You never know what a new approach, new therapist, or different time in your life can make to your mental health journey.
💛 Your peace awaits.